in regards to the last post, i feel bad about going off on Cammarata, even if he didn't know I did. We found out that it was actually some other lady that forced that as the front cover. I forget her name right now... which is weird cause she's pulled this kind of crap before and I hate her. Anyway, spring break is really flying by. I feel like... something has changed. Im not sure what.. I suppose it has something to do with me being accepted to college now. I'm going to go to UT at San Antonio and then, hopefully, transfer to UT at Austin. I've been playing Persona 4. I'm trying to fuse all the possible personas. I'm over 90% done and these last ones are really hard to get. I'm also trying to get some anime for anime club downloaded. I've downloaded over half of the Darker Than Black episodes and I'm gonna burn them on a CD. I thought about getting Zero no Tsukaima as well. I'm not sure what else would be good. Darker Than Black is really good though. Hei is so sexy n_n
FOOTBALL SIGNING! FUCKING FOOTBALL SIGNING!! STUPID ASS CAMMARATA WANTS FOOTBALL SIGNING ON THE FUCKING FRONT COVER OF THE NEWSPAPER!! WHAT THE FUCK IS HE ON!? No, seriously, what the fuck is he on? Who the hell puts football signing on the cover? It's not that anything is wrong with the front cover we chose. I would understand if he had told us to change it and we didn't in time so he picked a cover. I could live with that. But no. He just wants the cover to be football signing.
EXCUSE ME but you don't make this paper. You have no idea what goes into it. You're too busy doing other crap to actually see what goes into making one of these papers. We've always had really awesome covers for our paper and I'm damn proud of them. But this one time Cammarata has to poke his fucking little head in and say 'oh no, I want this stupid ass cover cause Im the principal hur hur hur!!' NO!! FUCKING NO! auuugh! This pisses me off so damn much. I mean, seriously, FOOTBALL SIGNING. Do you know how many football signers we've had??? AND FUCKING HOW MANY HAVE GONE ON THE FUCKING COVER!? NONE!!! goddamn!
And what's worse is that we can't do a damn thing about it. All we can say is 'yes mr. cammarata' and change it. That's fucking it. Apparently it's impolite to go against the teachers. It's like we can't do a damn thing because we're teenagers and thus automatically anything we say is stupid and offensive. And if we try to go against them then it comes back on us because they have the fucking power to do that. augh
I'm gonna go watch Black Cat before my brain fries from being pissed too damn much.
ooh xanga I remember I used to spend a lot of time on here. Seems my last post on here was back in Jan. of 08. I guess that wasn't too far back though.
I suppose Im still the same old me. Lazy, video-game crazy, boy-obsessed (non-real, of course) and totally weird. I suppose I wanted to start this again cause I wanted something to look back on, you know? It's interesting to look back through the posts and see what happened and what I said about things.
Well, right now I'm just playing Legend of Dragoon on my comp. I would actually be playing it on my ps2 but..well, Ivan has my PS2. See, Ivan has my PS2 and Persona 4 and my gamecube controller. Scrogin has has my Tales of the Abyss game and I have his anime Rahxephon and his game Persona 3 FES. I'm about to loan Chris my 360 and Ivan's Tales of Vesperia lol Thank god there are roms, isos and emulators <3 Oh, and Brittany has my FF Chronicles (FF4 and Chrono Trigger) and Tales of Destiny.
ugh I've been sick these past couple of days. It sucks. I got a cough on Saturday and then Sunday my body started hurting. Monday I stayed home and Tuesday i was woke up with a 103.4 fever so mom made me stay home. The doctor gave me some mediciene which, get this, it's the best part, the medicene has a side effect of making me depressed. So Wednesday, the last deadline day for the newspaper, I was crying. It was horrible. I almost cried during school and held it back then, after school when we were working, I started crying and had to go into the girl's restroom to hide it. No one caught on, thankfully, and Lynch made me leave early since she could tell I was still sick. I spent that whole afternoon pretty much just bawling my eyes out in my bed. Mom even stayed home from her church meeting. I eventually drifted off to sleep and didn't cry again after I woke up. You know what the weirdest part is? I had a convo with Cell in my head O_o He was scolding me for crying so much. He told me not to cry anymore cause it was pretty stupid to. And then I woke up and I didn't cry anymore.
I feel horrible though. Not cause Im sick but.. everyone around me is working so hard and Im not. Chris worked off his butt to get accepted into UT and what am I doing? I don't even have my hours filled out for NHS yet, and I know that's due soon. probably next month. And I only have a few hours done. Yet I'm not doing anything to get more. And Im letting my test grade of a 70 go in Eco cause I don't want to go in the morning and do test corrections. I dropped PreCal cause I don't like it, so that wont help in raising my GPA. I haven't for sure deicded on a college or anything. I don't want to end up like my siblings, yet that seems to be where I'm headed. I'm afraid that I wont do anything until it's too late and than I'll be screwed. I just sit here and play video games as usual, as if the world is going to wait until I'm ready to move. This isn't some video game where the end boss waits for you to raise chocobos, race them, collect materia and basically run around the place until you're reading to face him. But it's not like I can talk to anyone about it. I know their answer already. Too bad life can't be a bit more simple. and less costly.
so, this is what heartbreak feels like. On a small scale, anyway. This is pretty much my last safe haven place, cause no one reads this thing anyway unless i send a link asking them to.
and maybe its not even heartbreak more like...so thats its feeling.
see, i helped a guy with his relationship problem. cause his girl had cheated on him. and then we sort of grew close. i mean...he knows i liked him more than a friend, i told him so! and...ok, so i dont exactly remember him saying the same, but i know there was something. i mean...well...it was just things we did together, you know.
anyway, i get back on after two weeks of an Oblivion addiction and the first thing he tells me is that him and his girl have been discussing engagement rings..
ENGAGEMENT RINGS
Its like...whoa...what? run that by me again. so i ask him what I missed...and he said nothing. again...what?
so i get this feeling. i sort of just sit there and i feel really cold inside and i can feel some tears. they dont come out, but they're building up.
Im not going to say anything to him about it or question him or anything, just act like nothing happened. Why? cause truth be told, I wasnt sure I actually liked him a lot. i mean, of course i do, he's a great friend...probably could have been more if we spent time together in person, which we were going to do when he moved down here. but right now i dont really feel any...strong attraction for him or something like that, you know?
but the feeling is still there. like i said, it's a 'so thats it' feeling. maybe a bit of 'what was i to you' feeling as well.
